Smart phones, ipads and other modern devices are stealing our children's oxytocin? Reclaim the art of conversation.
Do you feel lonely when you’re not checking your texts? Are you obsessive in your desire to check Facebook updates? How about your children? Can they not put their smart phone down long enough to look you in the eyes when you are talking to them? Nicholas Carr who writes about technology and culture says, "There is a scientific reason why these devices are our favorite vices. People have a primitive instinct to gather information. To know everything about the world. Where it becomes a problem is when we can’t see what is right in front of our face. What this pursuit of unlimited information is doing is putting us at risk of sacrificing sincere interfacing with people around us. No interfacing, no oxytocin. The compulsive checking with shadow people (check: electronic friends) in our lives, people that we almost exclusively communicate via text serves as a huge end run around our oxytocin system. And not just oxytocin. Ever hear about pheromones, testosterone, estrogen, dopamine, and brain endorphins? Researchers believe that all of this electronic communication is altering our brains and our bodies. Then of course there is our physical safety. Everywhere in public people are walking around looking down at the glow of their phones, not watching where they are going, let alone into the eyes of others in their environs. It's dangerous. Pedestrians are being videoed walking into fountains, off railway terminals onto railroad tracks, into cars . . . it would be funny if it wasn't so dangerous.
Distractions that usurp our ability to visually engage with others has a negative impact on our oxytocin release. People originally said this about TV. The main difference between TV and texting is that people don’t carry televisions around in their pockets. TV is relegated to a certain time period in the day. Such as after work. Maybe in the morning as we get ready for the day. Smart phones with YouTube and texting in particular have brought the oxytocin distraction level to a whole new level. Kids can grow up now texting critiques of “Rocko’s Modern Life” reruns they just watched on their smart phones from behind texts. Not only are smart phones imposing themselves on our kids ability to visually connect with others in a real, human way they are becoming irrevocably compulsive.
Advice? Occasionally, as in once per day, put the cell phones down. If you are one of the lucky few with the sense to participate in that quaint ritual called “Dinner Hour” then use it as an opportunity to turn all of the smart phones off. Stop crowding out the quieter, calmer moments when you might engage in reflection or introspection and just plain old oxytocin releasing conversation. That’s right. Shut it off. Just for an hour. Ok, try thirty minutes. But, in that thirty minutes honestly look your friends; kids, dinner guests, colleagues, in the eye and carry on a real conversation. Talk to them. If they pick up their phone ask them not to. Ask them to stop, put it down for a few minutes and just be present. I’ve done it. It works. The whole tenor of the experience changes. Always for the better. I am not saying, "Don't use your phone, throw away your phone. I'm just asking your to try to reclaim the art of conversation. Click here for more information how to elevate your oxytocin releasing skills.
It balances and energizes areas of our bodies in areas known in Hinduism as
the Sacral and Root chakras. Though not a practitioner of Hinduism myself I
cannot help but to acknowledge how their teachings seem to be born right out
of oxytocin. For example, the Sacral chakra corresponds to the testes, the
ovaries, the adrenals, just like oxytocin. the Sacral chakra governs
reproduction, creativity, joy and enthusiasm, just like oxytocin. The Root
Chakra involves sexuality, lust, and obsession. It also controls male
ejaculation and the ovum the seat of genetic code, just like oxytocin.
Blockages in these areas always manifest as psycho-sexual ills. Healthy
oxytocin levels induces a vibrational pattern capable of imparting itself
into these chakras, helping to bring about balance. Fact: The Sacral chakra
is not only the seat of our sphere of desires, physical pleasures and
happiness but it is the home of the five senses.
Oxytocin is a unique hormone. Exogenous doses of other hormones
(testosterone, DHEA, Thyroid . . .) cause your body to suppress its
production of that hormone. Not oxytocin. Nasal oxytocin triggers the body to release more of its own from its many other sources such as: the retina, the pineal gland, ovaries, testicles, adrenals, thymus, pancreas, the uterus, the placenta and the prostate. It's a classic case of more begets more. Oxytocin AXXXcelerator is a fast action nasal protocol designed to quickly raise the adult man or woman's oxytocin level, enhancing his or her libido, desire, sexual endurance, empathy, relaxation and bonding capacity. This protocol is for adults only! We do offer a children's formulation. Click here for more information on the child oxytocin formulation. Buy adult intranasal oxytocin here.
SUGGESTED USAGE: Take four (maximum 6) sprays in the nostrils every day. Preferably not around food. May be taken when fatigued or ill as well. Alcohol safe. Do not use if pregnant.
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Oxytocin as a Libido Booster
Oxytocin boosts libido in both men and women in a number of ways. 1. It
reduces the stress hormones that constrict blood flow to the skin. This goes
for the penis and the clitoris. 2. oxytocin lives in the testis where it
affects steroidogenesis and sperm transport. 3. Oxytcin is also present in
human seminal plasma of normal as well as vasectomized subjects. Moreover,
injecting oxytocin into a richly vascularized vagina supports depression. In
the now famous college girl experiment
<http://www.springerlink.com/content/wrkl9lc5ueu43rh8/> Arch. Sex. Behav.
2002;31:289-93 it was revealed that girls who don't use condoms are less
depressed than those whose partners use condoms. I'm not advocating unsafe
sex here but the study clearly demonstrates that girls who get a shot of
transdermal oxytocin in their semen are happier than those who don't. Their
better moods are not just a feature of promiscuity, because the girls using
condoms were just as depressed as girls practicing total abstinence. Girls
who didn't get their oxytocin from semen made fewer suicide attempts and
performed better on cognition tests. 4 Oxytocin stimulates female sexual
receptivity and is a primary driver of pleasure during lactation and breast
feeding. 5. Countless oxytocin experiments have proven that oxytocin is
released by the five senses: vision, hearing, touch, smell and taste all of
which are tied into the sexual experience. When you stop to think about it,
if reproduction is a species most important role, what are our five senses
for if not to stimulate sexual urges? 6. Orgasms help both men and women
experience greater orgasms, including nipple orgasms. At the same time
orgasms increase oxytocin release by 365%.
Oxytocin, Empathy, Poker, and Judgement
Because oxytocin works at the 5ht1a serotonin receptor site it is an
empathogenic which means it raises our emotional IQ. Oxytocin helps us to
"read" others better and are better able to make subtle changes in our
behavior such that social interfacing goes smoother. This facilitates richer
more honest interpersonal experiences. Some MD's call it legal ecstasy. This
is why it has become such an invaluable tool for the medical community in
studying Autistic and Aspergers sufferers. This also goes for the act of
making love. Oxytocin can help you become a more astute observer of the
human persona both in and out of the bedroom. Improving our powers of
perception is why poker players use oxytocin to fine tune "tell" perception.
Its also why they all wear hats and sunglasses inside, to keep the
competition out of their minds. Poker players are highly perceptive
individuals who pride themselves in being able to tell when someone's vibe
(check; hand) isn't right, or if they are bluffing. Yes, the eyes are truly
the window to the soul but poker players read everything in clusters, not
just one cue, movement, or one gesture. They process the whole picture; the
stance, feet position, which direction palms are facing, which direction the
fingers are pointed, which way the head is cocked. They can read the
thousand subtle cues around the eyes and the mouth. They read speaking
pauses, inflections the rhythm. Which way the eyes are pointing. For example
looking to the upper left is usually a set up for a lie, unless of course
the person is a leftie. Poker players hear it in the voice, the rigidity of
the seat, looking around, the good ones can probably smell fear too. Dogs
can smell fear, right? Even if you can't consciously smell it, you are
biologically hardwired to perceive these things. During these moments of
enhanced perception we often need to make critical decisions. Oxytocin
helps. According to studies with the Autistic and Aspergers afflicted,
exponentially. The bedroom isn't that different. If a feeling that something
isn't right surfaces it needs to be dignified and acted upon, preferably
without making a big deal out of it.
When in the bedroom, oxytocin helps us to participate more fully in the
total being of the other person. Increased perception carries with it the
advantages and responsibilities. Be kind. Never force anything. When things
are right, and your senses tell you, you are in a good place, all systems
are go, you can allow long held back emotions to be released and move
forward with fluid gracefulness. Or not. Oxytocin can be your greatest
guide. Establishing authentic intimacy and trust is key to a fully realized
life. And sex life. Clearly, the latter requires a supportive, sympathetic,
co-operative partner who is just as hooked up to you as you are to them.
Oxytocin, with its relaxing, bond building and balancing hormonal action can
support and guide your body such that you are more able to identify, select
and pursue a viable partner with whom you can ride to the highest level of
human sexual experience.
Oxytocin, stress, and the amygdala
Oxytocin, stress, amygdala
Any conversation about sex and stress must always start with a discussion
about the amygdala. Stressful emotional memories are all processed then
stored by the amygdala, or, amygdala's, as there are actually two of them.
Recent brain imaging studies have shed much light on the power of the
amygdala's. It is a critically important part of our emotional structure. 1.
The Amygdala is a sexually differentiated organ meaning that it is different
in men, women and even homosexuals. 2. The amygdala holds tremendous sway
over our sex lives. Erections and orgasms are triggered in the amygdala. The
ability to feel specific sexual desire, or preference for a certain food,
the ability to feel love and affection for a specific gender, all complex
emotions, including the ability to feel religious ecstasy is made possible
by the amygdala. What does a straight Palestinian woman and a male
homosexual Jew have in common? Hint; it's not a strip of land. Most
homosexual men and straight women have almost identically constructed
amygdala's. vis a vis, most straight men and lesbians have identically
We now have proof positive that the amygdala is where we bury the sense
memories of good and bad things that have occurred to us over the course of
our lives: the lies, the betrayals, rip offs, rape: these are all stored in
the amygdala. Terrors, fears and phobias are all stored in the amygdala-and
the hippocampus. If you fell in love with a girl and she walked out on you
wearing a yellow dress, every time you saw a yellow dress it would trigger
the emotional memory of her. Emotional memories of pop songs are buried in
the amygdala. Your memory of how she smelled is harbored in the amygdala.
The amygdala is directly involved in the perception of sexual pheromones.
The amygdala is factual, visual, nasal, tactile and auditory. Because it
possesses facial recognition neurons its job is to constantly survey our
environment for items and objects that are of emotional significance to
remind us of the dangers from a certain faces, places, scenarios and keep us
hyper vigilant, aware of negative patterns, sometimes to the point of
The amygdala controls all aspects of social emotional and sexual
functioning. Electrical stimulation of the amygdala induces uterine
contractions, milk production, ovulation and erections in males. The
amygdala also controls cortisol. Most of you know cortisol as the fight or
flight hormone. I call it poison because it is toxic and a chemical weapon
of brain destruction. It's also the belly fat hormone. The fact that
cortisol toxic is irrelevant to the amygdala. Still, oxytocin keeps cortisol
in check. Its job is to come in, round it up and route it back to the
kidneys, the bladder and out. None too soon. If it didn't toxic cortisol
would eat away at the hippocampus, a major pleasure center of the brain.
Brain imaging studies have shown us that oxytocin does a good job of keeping
the amygdala balanced. Oxytocin is so effective at supporting the amygdala
that it actually helps us to forget negative experiences. Without oxytocin
there would be no reprieve from old hurts. Freud understood that there are
times when forgetting is very beneficial. An extreme case of this is when
soldiers in the field, under the constant stress of explosions occasionally
manifest total amnesia. Or, a woman who is brutally raped is unable to help
in the investigation because she has completely erased it from her conscious
mind. This is cortisol at work, protecting us from endlessly traumatic
memories. So effective is oxytocin at mitigating fears and phobias that in
the wild when an animal is threatened oxytocin helps turn their terror into
a life preserving still-motion. In such moments of terror they become very,
very, still without panicking. This is Mother Nature's way of insuring the
survival of the vulnerable in the jungle, not to step on that twig and give
up its location.