A well-adjusted, grounded, relationship oriented woman’s instinct is to generate oxytocin in everyone around her, starting with the man in her life
Women release oxytocin when they give birth. Women release oxytocin whey they nurse. Women release oxytocin when they gather their young. Women release oxytocin when they defend their young. Women release oxytocin when they are sensually aroused, when they kiss, when they lactate when they talk. Women are virtual oxytocin factories. Women release oxytocin when they recall positive past experiences such as love or infatuation, when they get a massage, sing, etc. It makes you want to ask the question, “when do women not release oxytocin?”
Live Life In High Defenition
- Oxytocin and Stress
- Oxytocin and Memories
- Oxytocin and Relationships
- Oxytocin & Estrogen
- The Cuddle Horomone
- Evolution, Sex, and Love
- Life Of Trust
Women need to communicate when stressed. The mere act of talking releases oxytocin in women. Talking is not an oxytocin trigger in men. Number one, men are naturally less talkative, they feel socially obligated to ignore talking. They prefer to problem solve. Women should NOT attempt to raise male oxytocin verbally. Talking his ear off isn’t an effective path to male oxytocin release. “There are other ways. Go for the erogenous zones. Of course erogenous zones vary tremendously between individuals. Find them! Touching that perfect erogenous zone for longer than twenty seconds will trigger more oxytocin release. Play with his scalp. Men love that. Why do you think they go back to the same barber, or hairdresser, year after year, it’s the physical manipulation of the scalp. Try coming in under his radar with some gentle nipple stimulation. It is nonverbal and highly pleasurable to men. Nipple orgasm is not the sole province of women. Gay men have long understand the power of oxytocin release during nipple manipulation. Again, the key is to do so for 20 seconds or longer. Obviously, oxytocin raises exponentially in both sexes during foreplay and orgasm.
Women don’t release oxytocin when recalling negative memories and experiences. Ironically, oxytocin helps us to put that to rest, helps us to forget negative memories buried deep in our amygdala, the old brain, the dark unconscious place filled with fears, betrayals . . . Oxytocin dials down the amygdala. The Inventory of Interpersonal Problems Test has revealed that women who have enough oxytocin “available” during good times, and bad times, have smoother relationships in every aspect of their lives. The same goes for men.
A well-adjusted, grounded, relationship oriented woman’s instinct is to generate oxytocin in everyone around her, starting with the man in her life. This is easier said than done as men don’t release oxytocin nearly as easily as women. Still, some women are excellent at teasing oxytocin out of men, increasing their “rush, creating a stronger bond between them. For those whom oxytocin doesn’t come so easily, supplementation is a fast way to jump start the process. Supplementation allows women to relax and more easily get on with the process of triggering areas of men’s bodies (and brains) that yield male oxytocin. Did you know that oxytocin is made in small amounts in the eye? Hence eye contact yields oxytocin secretion. Making love triggers more oxytocin release in men. Moreover, post coital oxytocin release helps men’s hearts remain open during afterglow, a point in which their pituitaries are cascading with oxytocin.
Oxytocin’s effect on the brain is greatly dependent on its interactions with sex hormones such as estrogen, progesterone, testosterone and corticosterone. Estrogen magnifies and intensifies oxytocin. In fact, estradiol switches on the oxytocin gene at the molecular level. Estradiol also activates oxytocin in hypothalamic neurons and turns on oxytocin receptors in other limbic and hypothalamic cell groups. This is why post orgasmic women feel so dreamy and relaxed and possess that intense desire to continue cuddling, stroking, and talking.
Oxytocin’s effectiveness as a ‘cuddle hormone’ requires the presence of estrogen. By contrast, testosterone dials down men’s oxytocin. Of course men love to cuddle too, but his desire is often blocked by his testosterone energy. Their oxytocin spike during orgasm is diluted by their testosterone. Dr. Marianne J. Legato, one of the world’s authorities on male/female differences, tells women that men aren’t being brutish when they pull away after love-making. “While the woman probably want to curl up and further cement the bonding that’s taken place, her lover feels no such urge and is already on the move, looking for a snack. The testosterone that makes him so sexy is neutralizing the chemical that makes you want to cuddle and whisper sweet nothings.”
Another theory on why oxytocin release is harder in men than women has to do with how Cro-Magnon men and women procreated. In the early stages of evolution, men and women didn’t have monogamous relationships because low oxytocin males were calling most of the shots. When a man was horny, he pretty much took whichever woman he wanted—the feeling of indifference and fatigue he felt after raping her, allowing her to escape.
The more things change the more they stay the same and modern man is still wired to do what his Cro-Magnon ancestors did after copulation—sleep. Or leave. Despite which—or what it seems—these behaviors have nothing to do with how they feel about women, or how indifferent they are to women’s wants and desires. Men can’t help it. Knowing this (and after taking a little oxytocin spray for added empathy) women should try to be a little more understanding when their guys roll over and start to snore. Besides… if you let him take a little rest, he’ll be up and ready for round 2 when he wakes up, right?
Building a loving, trusting relationship with anyone, regardless of their sex, is a process and is not something that takes place within a few moments in time. Nor is it limited to happening within a certain time period. It is quite possible that you may not even know it is happening until you experience that first smile or other unique cue, and respond appropriately. Talking, touching, holding, singing, eye contact . . . in tandem with oxytocin supplementation can help support these behaviors.